Virtual-Doug

Late Lunch

It was a nice leisurely trip by motorbike from my hotel in Huế to the small village where Trang’s parents live.  The 15 kilometer (about 9.5 miles) ride takes about 20 minutes putting along at a comfortable 40-50 kilometers per hour.

Trang has a younger sister named Ha, who is in her final year of high school.  Her English is quite good (she tells me that she is the best in her class) so the translating chores fall on her young shoulders.

Trang has been gone from home for three years now.  I have visited her family enough times so that we are all relaxed with each other and don’t feel uncomfortable at our inability to use each other’s language.  As I pulled into the courtyard of the family home, Loi (Trang’s father) met me with outstretched hands and a huge smile.  Ha parked the motorbike while I kicked off my sandals and joined everyone on the front porch for a cool drink and conversation.

(Be sure to click on the photos to see a larger version of each.)

Then a tour of the house to see that some things have been added since the last time I was there – another room in the back of the house where Ha is supposed to study.  I am reminded of American farm houses that grow and ramble – and this house seems to be doing the same.  I wonder if will get to be too big soon.  One brother announced his impending marriage next spring and Ha is in her last year of high school.  Loi and Hương could be rattling around in the house by themselves soon.

Hmm - - wonder if that television will help Ha’s studies.

And I like the little veranda entranceway – nice place to catch a cool breeze out of the sun.

But any visit calls for eating.  As always, excellent food and lots of it:  two different kinds of chicken, a cubed meat and bánh ướt – a kind of thin wet rice paper used to wrap around the cubed meat, then dip in the spicy dipping sauce.  Yum!  (It’s yummy if you are used to spicy food – if not, the sauce is pretty hot.)  And, of course, a big bowl of sticky rice.

And, as always, I finally have to lay down my chop sticks even though there is still a lot of food left on the table.  One explanation for them serving big meals is that the Vietnamese think that my big fat Buddha-belly is indicative of my capacity to eat more than they do, but the real explanation is simply that the Vietnamese are gracious hosts who always want to put on their best for visitors.

It would probably have made Trang blush to know most of the conversation was about her.  They wanted to know what I thought of her serious boy friend and where I thought she would live once her education is completed.  I told them I thought she had done very well in her choice of boyfriends, but I had no idea where Trang will earn her doctorate – and certainly don’t know where she will be when that is over.

This final photo has significance to me because of something Loi said during the meal.  We were all discussing Trang’s love life when he told me that he trusted and appreciated my looking after Trang – that I was her American father.  Hương shook her head in agreement.  I was astounded!

They were saying I was their daughter's American father! 

Maybe that’s why he has insisted on having a photo taken together a number of times – we are the two fathers of a remarkable young woman.

And I am deeply humbled to be given that status by two people who have done an incredible job raising their oldest child.  I pray I am worthy of their trust and kindness.

The Story of Oanh

Appearances can be very deceiving.  Who would think this ebullient and very attractive Vietnamese young woman would have a constitution of iron?

Oanh (similar to saying the name Juan in Spanish) went to Đại Học Sư Phạm Huế, the College of Education at the University of Huế.  In Việt Nam, the teacher’s colleges take the best and brightest - only a medical school requires higher entrance scores.  Because the tuition is waived at Sư Phạm, Oanh incurred an obligation to teach after graduation.  She was assigned to Nam Đông, a remote mountainous area west of Huế inhabited mostly by minority hill people.  It is a long way from Huế.  Her mother and 12 year old brother live in Huế.  Her mother is not that old, but has no education and survives by selling small sundries from her home.
 
Every week end, Oanh would throw a leg over her motorbike and ride home to Huế.  Besides helping her mother with a little extra money, she would also work as a waitress and travel desk clerk at the Mandarin Café.  I asked her why she wanted the job doing menial work as a waitress when she was a university graduate.  Her answer?  She wanted to improve her English

Last October, Oanh and her boyfriend decided to get married and got the proper paperwork from the government.  From what I understand about Vietnamese law, they are legally married.  A few days after getting the license, but before having any kind of ceremony, her husband suffered an accident on his construction job and lost his right leg - above the knee.  He gets $40 a month and has a poorly fitted artificial limb given to him by a charity.

Vietnamese custom dictates that if you break or lose part of a bone, you cannot have sex for one year.  That means Oanh and her husband have never consummated their marriage.  Since they have never had a formal ceremony, they must wait until this October when the year is up.

It has been a super hassle for Oanh to teach in Nam Đông, spend time with her husband who lives with his parents in Phu Bai, come in to Huế to care for mom and kid brother and work at the Mandarin. 
It would be a great help if she were able to transfer schools and get a teaching job in Huế .  She would be close to Mom and only a ten minute motorbike ride from her husband.

But – she could not afford the “fees” she would have to pay the school officials to let her change jobs.  She didn’t have the five to ten thousand dollars needed to grease the right palms.

Enter Mr. Cu.  It seems he knows a certain woman who is in charge of education for Thừa Thiên - Huê Province.  A few days ago, Cu was called to a meeting of the provincial education committee.  It seems the Minister of Education and Training for all of Việt Nam was coming and he wanted to see one of the orphanages Cu helps.

At the meeting, Cu mentioned Oanh's predicament - - and voila, the change is made.  No bribe - no paperwork - just done!  The change was made right then.

The next day, I went to the Mandarin for breakfast – and I thought Oanh's face was going the break in half from the huge smile!

But that is typical – she is always smiling and says (in excellent English) “I try to always be happy.”

The Two Edged Sword

The weather has been cloudy and drizzly most of the time I have been in Huế.  Of course, that really takes the hard edge off of the infamous summer heat, but it also has meant there are few opportunities for good photos.

But then again, I have over 14,000 photos of Việt Nam already - I guess I don’t really need any more.

I seldom shoot landscapes - usually I enjoy taking photos of people doing whatever people do.  But, Cu and I have been out and about lately and the opportunities arose.

Went to eat at a little seafood place well north of the city.  The lead course was a bowl of small clams, cooked in a broth of lemongrass and sweet chili.  Oh yum!  The excellent food, coupled with the great views of the lagoon made me wish I was there with Cindy.

In the middle of a local rice field stood this lone tree with a small shrine at its base.  The local farmers light an incense stick or three as they ask for a good harvest.  The little hillock is surrounded by water and rice.

An image like this conjures peace and quiet, and thus it was.  After I took this shot, I just stood there and listened to the quiet.  Cu and I were well away from the city with its bleeping horns and noisy trucks.  The loudest sounds I heard were a barking dog in a house a good distance away and a small bird that settled in the tree and sang to the setting sun.

It was also quiet on the lagoon.  The sun played peek-a-boo behind a cloud as it splashed color on the boats.  It was the same sun seen anywhere else in the world - it just seemed as though it wanted to make sunset extra special in Việt Nam that evening.

The Start of Goodbyes

The heart of this trip - to bring Aí Nhân (say eye nyun) to America for graduate studies.  Today was the The Big Meeting - the one where I tell her parents that Cindy and I will take good care of their daughter while she in the United States.  Parting is difficult - Aí Nhân’s father has suffered from multiple strokes and has been unable to speak for three years.

The Vietnamese are family people, so the house was crowded with sisters and brothers-in-laws and children.  And of course, such a gathering requires food - lots of it.


Trust me folks - this is just the first food that was served.  The bowl closest to the camera is a beef and veggies dish, in the middle are shrimp (huge, too) and in the back, pork. To the right is a small bowl of salt, pepper and lemon juice that the shrimp is dipped in - what Cindy calls Vietnamese ketchup.  What you don’t see are the bowls of rice, the fish, the vegetable soup with shrimp and more dishes I can’t recall.  Of course, the “dessert” is lotus seeds in a sweet syrup.  The entire meal is delicious - just way too much.  Aí Nhân is next to me and her mother next.  The gentleman in the right of the photo is one of her brothers-in-law.

Aí Nhân is the baby of the family - the last of the unmarried children but the first to leave Việt Nam for education.  There were lots of questions about her studies, how and where she would live - and most important to her parents, how Cindy and I would look after her.  I had the feeling that they were very happy I had come to get her rather than just putting her on an airplane and hoping she would be okay.

As I write this, it is Monday - and her new life begins Sunday.  I’m hoping that when we arrive home next Monday at 2:50 PM, there will be a nice group of well-wishers at the airport to welcome her to her new home.