Let Me Tell You About My Sister

Older sisters can be a problem for a boy growing up.  The younger of my two sisters (three years older than me) was a tomboy.  When I was in junior high school, she delighted in being given the task of waking me up.  Her method was to grab the arm hanging over the side of the bed and then punch me in the shoulder as hard as she could – and as many times as she could until I pulled my arm out of harm’s way.  She was an athlete – and good enough to be asked by the neighborhood Catholic church girl’s basketball team to play for them, despite the fact our family was Protestant.

While doing the kind of stupid things young men do, I once went to her house after a night of heavy drinking.  Though she had a husband and young daughter, she smiled, let me sleep on the sofa and brought me a bucket to barf in.  A few years later, she took me into her home while I recovered from the twin wounds of a recent divorce and having been in combat in Vietnam.  Always supportive, she did more than welcome my new bride into the family – she became a sister to the Mystery Guest Blogger.

My younger sister was a nurse.  After her husband left her to raise two kids by herself, she went to work in long term care (the polite medical way of saying she cared for old people.)  I’ve lost count of the places where she was the Director of Nursing, a consultant, the corporate nurse and other positions of responsibility.  Legion are the nurses who learned to truly care for their patients under my sister’s gentle whip.

Few siblings dare to own major investments together.  We did.  We’ve co-owned a small condominium in the ski resort town of Angel Fire, New Mexico since 1991.  That was one of the best investments I ever made.  Many a family reunion and ski trip were held there and more photos taken than could be pasted into any album.  My sister skied the mountain with her grandsons.

I’ve always felt blessed that I was part of a very loving family – Mom and Dad loved each other, and they made a secure and loving home for their children.  As years have passed, I’ve come to realize how unusual a truly functional family is in today’s world.

Twenty eight years ago, she had a melanoma cancer in one of her eyes.  I don’t know if having the eye removed was a victory over cancer or simply the loss of an eye because this past June the melanoma returned – this time to her liver.  This time it would not be denied.

I’m writing this in an airport.  I've just told Karen I will see her later.  The cancer is shutting down her body and the clan has gathered around her.  At her daughter’s home, she is surrounded by love.   Hospice brought in a hospital bed and she receives only palliative care.  In the last days of her life, she is at last realizing how strong her impact has been on so many people.

Yes, Karen – I will see you later.  I left your bedside before you died in the sure knowledge that you are merely preceding me to heaven.  We share a strong mutual faith that dying is a part of life and that those who believe in Jesus’ love will indeed spend eternity with God.

I’m glad you aren’t punching me in the shoulder anymore but very glad you are still teaching your kid brother something about life.  I love you, Karen.

Comments

[Sam]

God bless your sister & all of your family members, including you - in this moment of human life. Just like a dream, our human life is too short or like a camping trip, we all will take turn to return "home" someday, to our ever lasting & loving Father. I prayed that Karen would be able to punch you once more time with a wink in her eyes, as she smilling before she go.

Sincerely yours,

Sanh

[Brian]

We are grateful to know of your sister, Karen, and to know that someone - other the wise and lovely MGB - had the wit and b***s to beat you up, big time, when you crashed out.

Then... wake you up with a hug, kiss and car ride .

Say your prayers in thanks, not pain.

Then do 'e'm again, with a grin on your face?

Think about the times you fought back? Fairly or not?

God bless you - God bless us all, - if (s)he gets a minute.

brian & dominique

[Tim]

hey doug - introduce me when you see me there too will you? - she sounds like a great sister!
God bless brother

[Richard "Doc" Bovie]

Sincerest condolonces to you and your family. I hope the reunion will be able to lift your spirits.
Looking forward to seeing you there in person and not as a blog. "Doc"

[Tom]

So sad, but so full of love. My thoughts and prayers to the family.

[Russ]

Love ya Bro.

[Pam Carter]

I'm so sorry about your sister. Getting older is not for sissies. You and yours will be in my prayers, as always. I'm glad you and your sister have the comfort of faith. Pam

[nam]

God Bless Karen and your family...thoughts and prayers are with you!

[MGB]

I went to find the precise wording of her favorite poem, searching on the internet, and discovered it here on this blog.

http://virtualdoug.typepad.com/virtualdoug/2006/04/its_a_wonderful.html

This I did learn from the shadow of a tree
That two and fro did sway upon my wall,
That my shadow self, my influence
May fall where I may never be. by Anne E. Hamilton

She learned the poem in grade school, and gave it to the rest of us.

I shall miss you so very much, Karen. xoxo

[melissa young]

Doug- I am so sorry you have lost your sister. I treasure mine, and can not even endure imagining the possibility of saying goodbye now, or before we are "supposed to." I am so glad my kids all got to know and meet her in Pt. St. Lucie and other reunion events too. I know we will all miss her very much...thank you for your post. It is good that we will all see her later! I love you!
Misty

[michael]

Let light perpetual shine upon her.

[heather marks]

my prayers are with you and your family during this time.

love & blessings,
heather

[Susan and JR]

Doug,
Our hearts go out to you and your family. We know you will miss your sister but also know how strong your faith is and that you Will see your sister again. Free of pain and suffering, hallelujah....home with the Lord...Praise God....love...susan and JR

[J. Bradford]

I'm very glad for her, and sorry for y'all. Reckon she can scout out an AO for us up there? I love you both.

[Mary Kay Broughton]

My love and prayers to you, Doug, and your family. It is never easy to let a loved one go, but we must rejoice in the Promise of our Father that you will see Karen in the glorious life that is to come! May God's love surround you. Mary Kay

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now. I am Misty Young's cousin.

[John and Gayle]

Doug,
Our love and prayers are with you and your family. How truly blessed you are to have such a great family and a terrific sister.
Love,
Gayle and John

[Thuy]

What a sweet story that you wrote. So sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.