The Old Ladies’ Pagoda

My friend Cu is one of those people who quietly does good things for other people.  He takes wedding photos for poor people.  He gives poor folks some money when nobody is watching.  In this case, he took some portraits of very old women who are cared for by Buddhist nuns at a nearby pagoda.  I went along with him when he delivered the photos, all mounted in nice frames.  One of the sisters helped him deliver the gifts to the ladies.

(As always, be sure to click on each photo – you will see a much larger version of the picture.)

The place struck a personal nerve.  I have often posted The Mom Report on this blog – stories about my mother, who has Alzheimer’s and resides in a nursing home.  I saw my mother wherever I looked.

Many women live in this large room, each with her bed and a place to keep a few personal belongings.   The room is very clean, though there is no privacy.  I have come to discover that what we call “privacy” is a western concept that few in Asia worry about.  One of the nuns can be seen at the other end of the room cleaning a woman who cannot control her bodily functions anymore.  These ladies have few belongings – none have families – many never married.  They are alone except for the nuns and each other.  It is obvious they treasure their portraits.  In watching my mother, I know she often does not process things well cognitively, but she knows what love is.  These women also know someone loves them.  They respond as most people respond – they try to love something too, including their new puppy.

One woman had a special hold on me.  I saw the walker beside her bed and thought of the walker my mother uses.  Her thin and frail body reminded me of my mother.  When her portrait was brought to her, she sat up and smiled broadly, but the effort soon wore on her and she lay back down, with the photo near her head so she could touch it.  I was to learn that today is Mother’s Festival, a two day celebration to honor those who gave us life.  One of the nuns gave me a little pink rose to wear on my shirt as an indication my mother is alive.  For those whose mother is departed, they wear a white rose.

Not all the residents are incapacitated.  Those who are able to do light work are made to feel productive by helping in the kitchen.  Neighborhood volunteers such as the smiling woman on the right, come in to prepare the food, most of which has been donated.  It being a Buddhist pagoda, the diet is strictly vegetarian.  Nearby, another volunteer washed banana leaves to be used in wrapping one of the foods.

The pagoda itself is fairly new – the date on one of the buildings reads 1996.  Much of the support money comes from Switzerland.  The grounds and buildings are beautiful and very carefully tended.  The main worship building is fronted by many potted plants and flowers.  As would be expected in a Buddhist retreat, there is a feeling of peace and harmony.  At 10:30, a bell rang and the nuns, along with their young disciples, went to prayer time.  I listened to the chanting of the women’s voices and made a favorable comparison to the old chants of my Christian faith.  There is also a strong similarity to the lives led by Catholic nuns and the Buddhist nuns.  Each group radiates a joy coming from living simply and helping others.

Once again I am reminded of the similarities between the peoples of the world – not their differences.    I believe all people have two very strong needs:  they need to be loved and they need to love.  In this place, I saw both.

(Yes – I know I said the last post was my last from Viet Nam, but this was too good to wait until I got home. )

Comments

[Tom]

This is a very excellent post. I immediately thought of the comparison to Catholic Nuns in the USA. There are so few nuns (and priests) who are accepting the vocation that there is no one to take care of the older nuns. People must be hired to care for the nuns just as if it were a normal nursing home in the USA.

Those who have given their lives in the service of others, like nuns, deserve to be properly taken care of when they can't take care of themsleves.

[Sam]

"they need to be loved and they need to love."
Speaking like a theologian, Doug - since God loves them, and all they needed is loving each others till the end. I hope you're now back safe & sound in the hot Texas weather.
Will see you soon,
Sam

[Russ]

I'm glad you couldn't wait, very good indeed. Welcome back, and to Trang, welcome to.

[Brian]

Very eloquent post Doug. What a memorable and `rich' visit you have had, yet again.

Love the last image particularly.

Wishing Trang every success.