Its been a month since I last posted on this topic – a month of her trying to accustom herself to living in her new home, and a month of us learning about the new Mom.
Memory loss seems so simple. After all, if a person can’t remember her son’s name, or her birthday party, that’s not a big deal. A simple reminder should suffice to help the mind restore the lost memory. But, we have learned that it’s not that simple.
Not that simple at all.
It gets complicated when she deals with a topic, then processes it, and understands. But - - tomorrow, she not only has forgotten the particulars, but she has forgotten that she processed the topic. She may know where to get her mail, but she cannot remember which box it’s in. Nor does she remember she needs a key.
Social mixing is another perplexing subject. She often expresses her loneliness and wants to chat. Okay – I can chat. However, another time she may simply say she is just fine all alone. But most times, she is quite happy when I visit her to just talk and listen. Her memory loss is usually short term –memories of the distant past are incredible. She loves to go through her “little books” (diaries) and talk of events in 1935 – and she can do that with amazing detail.
This too is a journey. A journey for us. We have no idea what God wants us to learn with this new journey, but I’ve learned to be patient.
In the meantime, I shall try to be a good son.
What a treasure that your Mom has strong memories of the distant past! I might be tempted to audio tape those stories so my family can have them forever. Your mom's diaries show your blogging has a history. It must be genetic.
On Wednesday I start my most ambitious student publishing porject to date. I'm asking 140 freshman at the 100% African American high school, Burke High, to document family histories, interview a graduate, interview faculty and staff and research every aspect of the history of Burke High, including the strong church connection. This freshman class will graduate as the 100th graduating class. What an honor for these kids! What a book this will be! I hope we find 140 ladies like your mom for our freshman to talk to in depth.
Enjoy your mom.
Tom Murray
Posted by: Tom Murray | August 21, 2006 at 07:32 AM
Wow, I recently had my grandmother (83) stay with me for two weeks to give her daughter (my aunt) a break and witnessed the same kind of memory problems. She could talk and talk for hours about stories from her childhood, but could not remember where I was every morning at my accounting class.
Hang in there!
Posted by: peri | August 21, 2006 at 02:25 PM
Patience is a virtue and you are a great son married to a great woman. Love you guys!
Posted by: Russ | August 24, 2006 at 06:13 PM
I'm not sure how you could be a better son, Doug. I'm sorry it's hard to watch her get old. Just don't get old yourself! :) But if you do, I will still enjoy hearing you talk about your memories of us in Vietnam or even from BMJ.
Posted by: Miss July | August 29, 2006 at 06:15 AM